Interesting weird thing to momentarily get me down today. I picked up D11 from school early because I have a meeting from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. that I can not miss.
Heading back to work I glanced to my right to see the house -- it's a block off the main street -- and I saw a bunch of stuff at the curb.
STBXW is cleaning the house out to get ready for sale and it was some big stuff -- so she likely had help.
Two things flashed through my mind -- from who? Then, it's going to suck seeing the house sell.
D11 was singing a song so I shook my head to clear it from my mind and I started singing as well.
Off to the meeting.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I can remember initially after the separation coming over to pick up or drop off the girls, and finding my stuff sitting on the front porch. Wife had no idea how much that hurt, she thought she was just making pick up convenient!
Sigh. At work and had to review letter from my lawyer to hers -- another $250 gone -- and the number we are looking at is about $15,000 coming to me.
It'll be in retirement funds though so when I use it to pay off debt I'm going to owe a big chunk to the IRS.
STBXW texts twice. D11 needs to be picked up for school at 7:45 a.m. Later, D7 is sick, can I stay home with her in the morning and she'll come in the afternoon.
Yes. I can do those things. Years from now when the girls remember their childhood I hope they remember I was always there for them.
The cake-eating goes on though.
Hey. It was still a good day. I've gotten 11 straight hits in softball. Tomorrow night I'm hanging out with my singles group for dinner.
Life is getting better.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
STBXW texts twice. D11 needs to be picked up for school at 7:45 a.m. Later, D7 is sick, can I stay home with her in the morning and she'll come in the afternoon.
Consider yourself lucky. I have my laundry thrown on the floor. Dentist appts changed behind my back so that I miss holding the kids hands during treatments. No information re: school, projects, etc.
What's one man's poison is another man's food. Look at the positives.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB, I shake my head when I read you situation. It's a quandary. In many respects I'm LUCKY. I mean STBXW is rapidly careening toward bankruptcy yet she's not coming after me for every dime she'd get in court.
I think she genuinely feels guilty.
Because of her job she NEEDS me to be flexible so I have that going for me.
But still it is hard to feel lucky when this all feels so unnecessary. I'm looking at our past with a much clearer head. She's been troubled from the minute we started dating and she was an increasingly lousy wife. Still, there was a lot more we could have done to fix things.
So it's tough. I feel fortunate when I read the really bad cases, but I'm still sad because I think about what could have been.
Journaling: Picked up the girls. STBXW carried D7 out and I took her from STBXW turned without looking at her and walked to the car. She called from behind "12:15 to 12:30," which in STBXW's world is 1 p.m. or later.
If she pulls that again I'm going to have to say something. My time is valuable too.
D7 is watching TV and we may go for a walk because it is a beautiful day.
Added up my spending for past two weeks. With two days to go I have $27 left to stay under budget. I have something tonight which is going to cost $10 or so. I have to get a haircut for $10 and I'll have to get a little more gas. It's going to be close.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Many of my friends who were in long term marriages that ended, usually say the following:
-"it took three years but we are friends now" -"I don't forget but I was able to forgive" -"you know, as painful as it was, I have to thank her/him because in retrospect, we didn't have a healthy marriage"
It sucks going thru this. It really does. It hurts so much especially for the children. However, having come through all of this, I TRULY BELIEVE that the majority of the people on the boards have married the wrong people and/or have very unhealthy relationships. Many hang on here out of fear, codependence, etc. Many members who have NO clue about counseling urge people to stay on, clinging to denial, waiting a, well, like an old Star Trek episode with Locera, waiting for a supply ship that will never come.
Stay strong and keep on being the great dad that you are. Truly, if there is ANY hope for reconciliation, it will only come after the relationship is over. Read Gray. And THEN....you can decide if you would want her back anyway.
Stay strong. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
.