This is tough. He is just walking around like nothing happened, we're just friends. He even tries to hang out with me and have dinner just as friends.
It is torture.
His depression seemed to go away over night. I feel like I must've been the cause.
He's still getting phone calls late at night.
I really just want to find proof. I'm not sure what good it would do. I'm not sure if I'd even confront him about it. It's taking all my willpower not to smash his beloved ipod to bits, and I haven't even found anything.
I really feel like he is a coward, selfish and a child. A coward because he never had the guts to tell me he had a change of heart, instead I spent months and months trying to drag the truth out of him. That way he doesn't have to be the bad guy.
He's selfish because he wants me to stay in his life as a friend. I feel like he would be really hurt to lose our friendship. This is why he denies talking to suspected OW, because for him to tell the truth about it would be to risk not having me in his life at all. Again, cowardly.
This is torture and every day it gets worse.
I need to know what to do between now and the time we move out. I can't see his face because then I just miss him and forget what a worthless man he is.
I'm thinking about disappearing completely, to where we do not cross paths, making sure he's never home when I am, nor even let him hear me enter or exit. As if for all he knows I'm lying in a ditch somewhere. I feel like he doesn't even deserve to know if I'm ok or not.
