I am struck by how lucky I am sometimes. I know that so many LBS are dealing with much more painful sitches than I am. Although I am hurting for my children, H has behaved as honourably as he could given that he wishes to end our M. Part of me wishes I knew if he was in a R, but part of me is grateful to not have my nose rubbed in it or be tortured with the details.
I always enjoy reading your threads, FM, because of your positivity. Thanks again. And yes, we are all lucky in different ways. As painful as our individual sitches are, they are opportunities to make important personal changes, changes for the better. It's unfortunate that many of us need a crisis to motivate us.
One thing: finding solid proof of my W's affair, and that it was more than just one night stands actually gave me a lot of clarity. I'm glad I know. Before, I was in a kind of limbo of hope, and my W used this against me. For whatever reason, this happened at six months and...
Originally Posted By: ClingingToHope
At six months you will be getting your feet under you. The pain will be there, but you will have figured out the beginning of a new life. The second six months will belong to you.
...right around six months this is exactly how I started to feel. The pain is receding, my fog is clearing, and I'm starting to stand on my feet again. I'm starting month seven now.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
Sending out hugs to those of you who are dealing with financial crises, parental abandonment, and abusive behaviour. Dealing with a WAS is hard enough .
Flo, you are one hell of a lady!!!
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
Sending out hugs to those of you who are dealing with financial crises, parental abandonment, and abusive behaviour. Dealing with a WAS is hard enough .
Flo, you are one hell of a lady!!!
I second that!!!!
It makes me sad to read about all the pain people are going through on this board. It gives me hope that there are people in this world, like FM, on this board. FM's PMA is contagious. Just try reading a couple pages of her thread, start from anywhere. One cannot help but to see and feel the strength and wisdom.
Folks, you are very kind. As for PMA, I give credit to the ADs for that. Only 2 months ago (2 months post-separation) I was still fighting the tears regularly, and having trouble enjoying things.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Folks, you are very kind. As for PMA, I give credit to the ADs for that. Only 2 months ago (2 months post-separation) I was still fighting the tears regularly, and having trouble enjoying things.
They DO make a difference, don't they? I'm glad in your case they're helping, FM. I have seen a change in you during this time for sure. And a lot of that is also work you're doing on your own.
Hope you're feeling better--
((((FM))))
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
So, I'm feeling more relaxed around H. I could see us being friends one day, though I reserve the right to change my mind once OW details are released. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for him...he still seems depressed. Have to restrain myself from trying to sell him on ADs.
Last edited by flowmom; 05/19/1002:15 AM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
How many times a week do you have to restrain yourself? Just out of curiosity? I'm tongue-biting on a number of things several times a week!
Not often rr, because one of my 180s is not trying to caretake/fix H. Still working on that .
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Boy when tragedy strikes it goes back to appreciating the basics in life!
Flowmom and newmama--thanks so much for your wise way of seeing what is good in life. Yes, we all need to be thankful for what we have and try to see the benefit of living with a clean conscience. I try to take the high road and not to let myself get bogged down in anger and self pity, but some days it's just tough. (Flowmom, my H is also depressed so I know what it's like to see him destroy our marriage, as he deals with his confusion and pain. This is a link to my thread)
Ladies, you are wonderful strong women and an inspiration!
Last night I had another hugging H dream. I initiated, he resisted at first then melted into the hug and like a magic wand all of my longing was fulfilled in that simple gesture. The dream was so vivid and I woke with the imprint still on me. I will never rewrite history and deny that, for 17 years, the man of my dreams was mine. Although I have made progress in detachment, the pull of attachment is still there...and more present lately.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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