I am back...and finding me

[ericmsant2]

All

Just a quick update - W continues to be very nice and social. FTR, I take it for what it is..another human being just showing some decency.

I have some very interesting things to decide over the next few days. W's L has agreed to a sit down with me and my L in order to see what type of agreement we can reach. I remain adamant on a 50/50 split with the kids - everything else is open to discussion in my mind.

I'm concerned about my ability to take care of myself but I will just need to figure it out. I still have "feelings" for W and I know this is normal. I just wonder when will the time come when I can look at her and just see another human being and not the women that I love. The anger is gone - finally. What is left is me...a new person...

In some weird way I thank her for having the courage to move forward with the D. I thank her because quite honestly I would not have looked at myself had she not made the decsion that she did.

I look forward now...forward to what/who I am. I will look back from time to time only to remind myself of the errs. of my old ways.

I have decided to remain in the house until April of next year (assuming I can negotiate this). The reason for this is two fold..1) My kids need this stability (I am for the most part Mr. Mom and way) and 2) for financial reasons. I know that this may hold her back from progress and some would say may hold me back from growth. The realty of our sitch is that we barely see each other so I believe that this could work. I have no expecations. NONE. I will be respectful as I hope she will.