CL, I have said many times that I cannot fathom you, but we are all different and that is a good thing. I don't think I know a man that would have let the moment pass if his wife had said such a thing but you are right after the event would be confrontational. I am happy that you recognised that it was your chance to speak up for yourself about your feelings and that you really want to get better at speaking your mind or say the words that your heart is feeling.
Please remember it doesn't have to cause an argument or create tension between you. You have every right to tell her how you feel or how her actions/ words make you feel. That is not the same as saying if you do x then I shall have to do y. She may long to know what goes on in your heart and head, she may long to know that you are proud to be her husband and it hurts you when she doesn't want people to know that she is your wife. Remember to use the "I statements". Be ready for the next opportunity, you have nothing to loose and oh so much to gain by just speaking what you feel in your heart.
