She came out a few minutes later and stood there with her arms crossed. I was loading a cooler with beer and said, "I have been thinking all day about what I told you the other day and feel that I need to clear things up a little bit. I told you I would go to MC with you when and if you were ready. I think MC would benefit us as far as communication, and rebuilding trust, friendship and, eventually, love in our M. So, before we do anything else, I need to know if you are willing to go to one with me and work on these issues to see if this M can be saved. If you won't agree to go with me, you need move out and file for divorce. I can't continue to live with someone who treats me the way you do and treats the children the way you do." She said some things that made no sense, like the kids would be better off if we separated, she is tired of trying by herself. She said, " I thought you agreed we needed to separate." I said that I had simply thought about it and changed my mind. That's not what would be best for me or the kids.
As I was getting in the car to leave, I said, "Look, I refuse to get into another arguement. Everything has been said that needs to be said. I need to know in the next couple of days if you will go to MC or not. What we do next depends on your answer. If you won't go with me and refuse to move out, I will get a L and file for D myself. We will then let the judge decide who goes where and who gets what. 'Bye. I won't be late." And I left.
You will be tested on this.
Quote:
I just let her know what I had decided was acceptable to me.
Yes, that is a healthy boundary about behavior. You need to be prepared to state what is unaccaptable behavior in a clear and confident voice. You can handle it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
