Understand that she is trying to rationalize all this in her mind much like you are. But she drove the marriage to this fork in the road, so for her this is always going to be about justifying her decision to do so.
You know, sometimes the one we have the most difficulty being honest with is ourselves.
Welcome to the paycheck to paycheck club. I've spent four years as the single parent to a 9th grader who is now a senior. The ex has sent a child support check each month, but trust me when I say that child support just takes a bit of the edge off. I have risen at 3:00 am every morning for the past year and half to run a newspaper route for extra money. In the summer, when school is out, I have worked for the school's technology coordinator, helping him with computer system work at the various buildings.
We do what we have to do to get by.
You will too.
It's tempting to speak in absolutes at this point. Heck, the divorce is done, we are no longer a couple. The fact is that none of us know the future. Rather than seeking to close doors, I find it best to let them close themselves.
Live your life. Be true to who you are as a man, a father, a friend, hell, a human being. Do nothing for effect - let your yes be yes and your no be no. Even in regards to your ex. As I creep nearer and nearer to the half century mark, I have come to realize that burning bridges is a waste of time and effort. Focus your energies on you and your boys. Let happen what happens.
Did I mention be true to yourself?
I'm convinced that divorce is a process that strips us bare. It's painful and embarrassing. But it also brings with it the opportunity for a new change of clothes - a fresh start so to speak. I have chosen to use my new start to bring myself back on track to the man I wanted to be.
Think about it.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
