Yeah, I've been thinking (of course) about what I had written. If I didn't have you NM, I would have sent it like that without realizing the hostility that was underneath the surface. I think that's how I can characterize myself through our separation: cold and a bit hostile. That's why I sent the friendly email (about Bill Murray) two weeks back and wrote back with a thank-you for the Mother's Day gift. Just today we had a little exchange about something on my credit card. My normal thing would just be to not write him back. Now, I'm trying to be more soft and light. Even though it is sort of strategy, that is how I would rather be as a person, as opposed to cold and hostile.
Anyway, now that we had this credit card exchange, I will probably write back something sort-of friendly. (He realized that the magazine was discontinued so he said he'd look for something else. I'll probably say thanks.)
In my case, it really is a 180 and he has responded positively to it so far.
At the same time, I still struggle with anger. I don't know if I can do stuff like this (be soft and light) for very long! I decided before and recommitted again today to really give this DBing stuff 'til the New Year. I need to really try so I don't have regrets later in life. (Even though my natural tendency is to just give up.)
