It takes time. I know that is the last thing you want to hear. It took me about a year and a half to be "ready" to date. I went through 2 years of this mess with ex before he filed and then that took a good 8 months to happen!
I don't think so much in terms of being lonely as I do think it would be more than ok to share stuff with someone. We are all getting there...slloowwllyy.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Sounds good in your world, Kerry...that makes me smile for you.
I think it would be a lot easier for me if we didn't have the kids, or if the kids were adjusting well. I mean they aren't doing horribly, but Sydney was so upset last Thurs/Fri wanting me. I told them both I was glad to have them back and Nathan volunteered, "Sydney was throwing a fit for you at daddy's". I said, "Yeah, I know, but I am sure daddy handled it." Didn't want to probe. Nathan said, "Yeah, daddy asked Sydney, 'Don't you want to come and see your daddy?'"
So I imagine it bothered him, hence his comments about me not coming to church when they do. They miss their dad when he is gone, but he has been traveling and engaging in 'extracurriculars' for three years now, so Sydney hasn't really known it to be any different. Being away from me for days at a time, however, is something they have NOT experienced...
Oh, and I tried to do something minimally polite today and apparently it freaked Dan out. Geez, apparently he really has villain-ized me in his head!
He made that power point thing for Nathan's school project. Nathan showed it to me this morning before school. It was literally a 15 page story all about Flat Stanley's trip to Canada. Complete with cute photos of the Flat Stanley paper-kid being strapped into a seat belt on the airplane, lounging on the bed at the hotel, perched on the steering wheel, etc etc.
I was actually impressed at how he captured a lot of info about the trip but wrote in on the right level for seven year olds. So I texted him at lunch, six words, "Just saw your project-nice work"
He replied back immediately, "Yeah I switched from third person to first person on page three though. Wish I'd caught it sooner." There was nothing to reply to, so I didn't.
Ten minutes later.... "Or were you being sarcastic"...
Not touching that...so ten minutes after that...
"Or better yet mocking me"
Ummmmmm........where I come from, people say what they mean and mean what they say... Not everyone has the evil agenda he thinks they do...
The kids will be fine. Not great immediately, but fine. As long as he is present in theri lives and they see you both stable and content, they will. I saw a HUGE difference in my kids during summer 2008 when I felt good. They are like our mirrors. K
BBJ could not agree with K more. I remember my D9 was having difficulties when my frame of mind was not what it should have been. The kids will do better if they see both their parents happy. Easier said than done but there is nothing more important for you to do right now.
Last night was fabulous. Nathan had his first game. He was 3-for-3 with two singles and a double. Yay Nathan!
He also got hit by the ball not once, but twice. Ouch! First time he was batting and it came back off the bat and got him in the forehead. He stepped away and was about to cry and his dad told him he'd be ok, so he got back in there and got a hit. The second time he was 'pitching' (the coach pitches but a kid still stands by him?! Anyway the batter hit it right back at them and he got drilled on his hand/wrist. But again, he shook it off. Good kid!
Went over to my sister's after that. Her baby died 2 weeks ago, a 15 yr old Shi Tzu. She just got a new baby one and the kids loved it.
John and K, you are right. They do respond well to my lead. I was upbeat and happy last night and so were they. However I can't control them being upset over at Dan's house...he will have to learn to handle that part.
BBJ, I love my girls to death, but I do somewhat miss having a son. Baseball games would have been great. Funny, this weekend we went to the YMCA to do some rock climbing. While we waited, D11 wanted to shoot baskets. She's been practicing a lot at school and wants to shoot with me. I think she's trying to do things to feel closer to me.
Two singles and a double is very good. Maybe he's a natural.
I'm just going to throw this out there. If Nathan really gets into the sports that's likely going to be something that makes him closer to Dan.
Remembering my own growing up. Sports was something for me and my dad. My mom tried for a while, but then I think she realized that wasn't really her role or thing. So sports was dad and I and most everything else was my mom's domain.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Are you still doing the Wednesday night date with the good looking Marine?
I just got back from a lunch date and we moved our next dinner date to tomorrow.
Wow! Kerry sounds like things are going well!
I don't think I am going tomorrow. I need to let him know that, though... We had a place picked out but not a time. He called Saturday afternoon and we talked for about 45 seconds bc he was out on a ride with some motorcycle friends. I would ride with Woog maybe if I ever went to visit but in general I am not a motorcycle girl...He texted yesterday while I was at church and I just realized I haven't replied...that is another thing i noticed when I re-read his profile, that he goes to church maybe once a month in his words. That may not matter to some but for me, involvement in my church is important and even if my future mate doesn't want to be on committees I would still want them to go every week, too...
Oh btw I went home sick today at noon. I don't know what is wrong with me. I woke up and could hardly walk, my whole body hurt. Especially across my upper back, shoulder blades, shoulders, and under my armpit area down to my waist. Oh and my quads. So, almost everything!
My first thought was that I pushed it too hard in boot camp yesterday. I used 8 lb weights instead of 5 (I know, what a brute I am ) and I took the heaviest weighted bar when we had to do lunges around the town square.
However, as the morning went on I noticed my neck felt stiff and my throat hurt, and I was freezing! Everywhere I went (I go to a lot of classrooms) people would see me in the hall and say, "Are you that cold?" bc I was walking all hunched up. And my chest kind of feels like it does when you run outside in the cold air...every deep breath burns a little...
Came home and took temp. Only 100.4 but still I was freezing. Slept for 90 minutes, then got up and sat on the couch before I picked up Nathan from school. I have eaten 1/2 a piece of toast at 7:45 and a bowl of Ramen at 2:00 and that's it today, I have no appetite. Strange...
One good thing? Glee is on tonight!
p.s. I have been acting upbeat and kids have done the same yesterday and today... Dan just came and picked up Nathan to go practice baseball for awhile. Not his night but I didn't mind besides with me not feeling well it is kind of nice to have him do it.
We are all getting there...slloowwllyy.
Not everyone has the evil agenda he thinks they do...