Sorry, that's rough. I think you're right about focus on work and kids now. I'm starting to realize that now the D papers are signed, it's really just the beginning. I'm struggling with the idea of making a life without a partner. I still want that partner and that connection. But there's nothing for it.
Hey Geronimo! It seems that I am taking my own advice huh? I have given you that same advice to take care of you and your kids but I have felt that you have a way better chance than I do with reconciling. When is too much hope unhealthy?
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
My normal visitation time on mondays is 4:30 to 6:30 but tonight I left the house around 10pm. Everyone there seemed to enjoy it, even stbxw. That filled the small hole I had growing in my gut and I will take it for what it was - one night of togetherness with my family.
Work will be busy tomorrow and I am looking forward to it.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
W: Iam taking the kids out for dinner. Did you take them out last night?
Me: No, I made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas, and thunder cake.
W: Mmmmm! You made meatloaf?
Me: Yes, why?
W: I kinda miss your meatloaf and that just sounded really good right now.
Me: Oh, I see,(lol) I remembered that D2 has not even had meatloaf yet so I had her help me make it. She cracked her first egg and ate her first meatloaf.
W: Yep ( she was sounding a little sad at this point.)
I went over to the house later and brought thunder cake for them and stayed for 2 hours playing with my kids and talking to wife about nothing. It is interesting because back in December she was glad that the custody agreement had been signed on because, "atleast V1olin won't be around so much anymore. I only feel guilty when he is around."
Last edited by v1olin; 05/21/1004:49 PM.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
This sounds very much like the interactions my W and I have. Amazing how time changes things.
After a period of no or little contact, the anger, guilt, and resentment starts to fade, and the WAS starts to miss the good things the M offered. My W clearly misses aspects of our old life together, and yours does now too. Mix that together with the noticeable absence of the bad things from the M, and the WAW gets increasingly conflicted.
I think little doses of these "reminders" can be good, followed by long periods of no contact, eventually followed by a strong indication of "I'm moving on to someone else, and they're going to get the new improved me". At that point, the WAW feels true crisis, and realizes the choice is no longer theirs to make.
My stbxw found out I have a flu and she offered to come over and bring gatorade, soup, and tylenol. I told her I would go to the store later but she still wanted to come over. Muy brain is hot and swollen, hope I dont say anythin stupid.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
LOL! Another kooky thing about these WAW's. v1olin, I know you went through a long period of basically snubbing your W, just as I did. Yet they don't seem to be offended, because deep down they know they deserve it. I would actually feel bad about it sometimes, like I was treating her like dirt.
Hilarious, when my W and I reconnected recently, she said "You're so nice now, like when I first met you." I don't remember snubbing her for months when we first met!
