When he is having a good day and I ask him questions like is it over for sure, or do you want me to start the seperation process and he can't answer me, yet on a bad day he very clearly tells me what he is feeling, I am just not sure which personality to believe.
I'm not a vet ... but I'm learning fast (have a look at my sitch) and one of the first things you need to do is STOP ASKING QUESTIONS! Think like a lawyer - don't ask questions you don't know the answer to, and don't ask questions if you know the answer but don't want to hear it!
The best advice I could give you right now is: if it pops into your head as what you want to do ... just DON'T! What is going to work is counter-intuitive so it will require conscious effort on your part. The other tip that has helped me a LOT in the last few weeks especially is "only believe 1/2 of what you see and none of what you hear!" ... this has gotten me through many a day!
Right now, you need to focus on you ... eat well, exercise, breathe, meditate, laugh (youtube and America's funniest home videos is good for this!) and love your kids!
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
