I think this is my home for the next 6 months...

[cat04]

Shel,

You have a sense of humor. That will get you far in this…

I'm damned if I do & damned if I don't when it comes to him.

I will admit that completely dropping the rope is a terrifying thought. It's not the same as giving up on him. It just feels like it right now.

I am glad that you recognize all of this.

Dropping the rope, letting go, detatching, moving forward…are NOT synonomous with giving up.

Simply giving up control.

I do have a question though...as I was talking to my mom (who, I do realize, is not a good source of advice), she suggested that my being just fine & surviving without him will just help in making him angry and pushing him away further. He didn't feel like I needed him when he was here, and now nothing has changed since he's left & I'm still just as independent, thus proving his point that I didn't need him or want him. Seeing as how one of his biggest complaints (to me) was that I didn't do anything like clean the house or take care of the kids & treated him like a housekeeper/babysitter.

So do you think you should get all weak and needy and maybe that will wake him up?

Shel, you have to not only survive this but THRIVE through it. Regardless of how he reacts to it…

Being the White Knight…

Gets old after a while…

I'm still cycling through extreme sadness to anger and back again, hitting every emotion in between. It's exhausting….


…She said she didn't believe in them--her brother just needed to pull his head out of his a$$.

All valid feelings Shel.

Believe me, more than once we have all felt like simply saying that…get your head out of you’re a$$...

Doesn’t work though..

Hang in there…