Naej, She doesn't seem to mind if people know we're a couple. In some circumstances, she talks like a W. She has always had a high need for privacy. The wedding was pretty small--mostly family and some friends. As you suggest, I don't see a need to impose consequences or insist that she reveal her marital status in public.
We're planning on our next performance commitment. The cooking day has been going better as we've been finishing around 6PM. She would like to take a vacation with other dancers. We'll see what opportunities present itself.
I see no problem with forgiveness, which involves thinking of my W as a flawed human being, bearing no ill will towards her, and not doing any harm.
The "Boundaries in Marriage" book by Henry Cloud is the right book for me at this time. The ideas will be immediately applicable, and seems to make boundary setting and problems in marriage more the norm than an exception. The book also talks about simply speaking-up as a means of boundary-setting, by letting the other person know how their behavior is impacting you (I need to do more of this).
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
