Question

[Lucky11too]

I think I am making their EA bigger than it is, but he still won't come home and he still is choosing a relationship even just a friendship with her over a M with me.

Don't beat yourself up about that. Big or small - an EA is NOT ok! We never really know the whole story and we can't try to make guesses, but anyway you look at it, their R is not appropriate. And you just said it, the fact that he won't chose your R over their "friendship", just proves that you're not overreacting.

I understand how certain things can really stir up memories. I was at Lowe's the other day, and almost broke into tears, as that place was like our 2nd home when we were fixing up our home before the split. It brings back the memories of our home and our dreams, but then reality of what is hits again. I know it's just part of human emotions, so we just have to take them in stride. Although it's tough, I think these interations you have with H give you both more of an insight into each other. You were able to have a great time together Friday night, dream of the memories of NYC together Sat morning, and then discuss the reality of OW and your feelings about it Sat night (thru your hurt of him taking her to Chicago). It sounds like he made some really small baby steps with therapy (ie - putting your desires 1st with picking the dinner place), so hopefully, he can start to show some other small baby steps.

So sorry to hear you're not feeling good. =( Just try to keep taking care of yourself the best you can around all your other responsibilities.