I can at least say that this all feels different this time. I am oddly calm. No tears or anything. I've just reached that breaking point and I can't and won't do this anymore.

Honestly, from here, of course I wish this could be his ultimate wake up call and he would see the error of his ways and make some major life changes. Grow up, make some goals & priorities.
But the reality is that that isn't going to happen. I have to do what is best for me and I can't keep being the only one working on the relationship. I can't keep being an afterthought.

He made his choice and I made mine. From the way I feel right now - it would take an ocean of tears filled with roses with a crystal boat stocked with blackberry wine and lobster to make me even reconsider.
(just trying to be as largely dramatic and slightly funny as possible with my favorite drink and food thrown in)

I'm about to be 29 and 30 comes very shortly after that LOL I thought I would be in a very different place in my life right now, but I'm not and I want and need to make a different path. I want and need to be with someone who has a path so we can see if our paths line up; instead of someone who doesn't even have a path.

i'm babbling, sorry. hope that metephor makes some sort of sense.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.