....still just bobing through each day not knowing how to move forward....my W keeps telling me to just be happy that she is with me...i guess it makes me feel like she is settling or somethign like that.
i really do love her, she asks and i tell here so. She asks if i want to D her, i tell her "no". she asks/tells me i hate her don't i? i tell her i don't hate her, just the decision she made.
i just am not sure if i will ever be able to get past the fact she betrayed our M and allowed another man to be inside her...sounds dumb i know...i want to have a R where i don't have this sitting on my back each and every day.
with her or without her, i am still going to have this crap with me for the rest of my life.
guess i need to "embrace the suck" till who knows when, huh.
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
....still just bobing through each day not knowing how to move forward....my W keeps telling me to just be happy that she is with me...i guess it makes me feel like she is settling or somethign like that.
i really do love her, she asks and i tell here so. She asks if i want to D her, i tell her "no". she asks/tells me i hate her don't i? i tell her i don't hate her, just the decision she made.
i just am not sure if i will ever be able to get past the fact she betrayed our M and allowed another man to be inside her...sounds dumb i know...i want to have a R where i don't have this sitting on my back each and every day.
with her or without her, i am still going to have this crap with me for the rest of my life.
guess i need to "embrace the suck" till who knows when, huh.
Gman
Damn Gman,
I thought you out of all of us was past this. They're saying this stuff can send you to an early grave, so if it "sucks" too bad its gotta go.
Many of the men have wives who do not cooperate as well as your wife, so you as much as you are sucking today are in a position several times better than mine and others.
I thought you out of all of us was past this. They're saying this stuff can send you to an early grave, so if it "sucks" too bad its gotta go.
Many of the men have wives who do not cooperate as well as your wife, so you as much as you are sucking today are in a position several times better than mine and others.
you are right DLS - guess just hitting a rut, i am a changed person and don't want my M to go back to what it was before A but seems like the W is just content with boing there lately, not trying to DO anything about who she was BEFORE either. thanks for reminding me how well off my Sit is compared to others.
maybe im PMS'ing right now (sorry ladies :))
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
I thought you out of all of us was past this. They're saying this stuff can send you to an early grave, so if it "sucks" too bad its gotta go.
Many of the men have wives who do not cooperate as well as your wife, so you as much as you are sucking today are in a position several times better than mine and others.
you are right DLS - guess just hitting a rut, i am a changed person and don't want my M to go back to what it was before A but seems like the W is just content with boing there lately, not trying to DO anything about who she was BEFORE either. thanks for reminding me how well off my Sit is compared to others.
maybe im PMS'ing right now (sorry ladies :))
Gman
Your not PMS'ing... So your telling me that the wife hasn't adjust portions of herself to give you great confidence in her committment to you? I thought thats what you had.
I don't have nothing with mine, actually its negative.
I would think as long as she appears dedicated to the relationship and you, and you guys are "sleeping together" that over time the OM will be a distant memory. She also has to show that you are number one.
If she gives you inkling that what she did was not a big deal, or doesn't give you that good spot with her that will cause a doubt that will grow to resentment and your gonna get sick or you gonna leave.
I wish I didn't know being cheated on can make you physicall ill.
I would think as long as she appears dedicated to the relationship and you, and you guys are "sleeping together" that over time the OM will be a distant memory.
i wish that were true...but you know my sit, OM will always be around - maybe that is what is bugging me lately, no matter where we go or do there is a chance of bumping into him.
time to stand tall and press on.
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
This not the punk way either. If it is going to be an impedent into your life it may be easier for your family to move to another neighborhood. In the affair, they say its like being "raped" over and over again for the LBS, so to see reminders of the "rape" are traumatic. I wish I didn't know.
yeah....shame that the LBS is the one who would have to consider up and moving family to get away from the parasite called the OM.
whatever the case i have lived in my community for my whole life, and i love it here....i am not moving anywhere
gman,
Well your going to have to stay strong in the face of him. It WILL work if you have 100% support and cooperation from your wife. You won't have to throw one blow.
If your wife wavers suport around him, your not going to feel too good.
I'm feeling in a rut myself too gman. I backslided this past week and a half. I'm bummed..
I know what it feels like to feel like you're giving 100000% and WAS is just THERE... not really making much of an effort really only being there in physical form..
Part of me sometimes wishes that I can just up and get out but I know that in my heart that's not what I truly want.
I know that I need to just stop having any expectations whatsoever and just worry about myself... But I just guess I feel like WAS is being selfish, you know?
Just rambling here..
I AM PMSing though so who knows lol sorry fellas! lol
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
If your wife wavers suport around him, your not going to feel too good.
good news is after the way he treated her (like peice of meat) she has told me she wouldn't have anything to say to him even if she did run into him - after the chemicals wore off she saw him in his true glory and it wasn't that pretty, not to mention she feels embarassed that he was able to lie and manipulate her for his own satisfaction.
times - i totally know what you mean, maybe we are the onese who are becoming selfish now.... wanting a happy healthy R.
HUGS right back at you!
PMS - lol
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
