If You Forget Me #71

[june72]

Kalni,
If you have been reading along with Rocked thread- she suddenly spiraled downward and her IC explained it as due to the fact that now she feels "safe" in the relationship (an affair is no longer a threat) and is now feeling the feelings that she had to suppress for so long just to get through everything.

Do you think this is what is happening to you?

See, I think differently then most people- I think periods of despair and depression are not only appropriate but the norm. I mean to deny your true feelings and force a PMA isn't living through the feelings or processing them. The only problem is when people get stuck in the bad depressive spot. Then I think it is a problem. So -go ahead and feel the way you do. It will be cleansing after a bit, KWIM. I mean you wouldn't tell a person who's family member just died to get get along with it, right? You would find it normal to see them sad and depressed. To me, seeing you sad and depressed seems normal to me. As long as you can eventually move to a healthier mind frame. There is some famous psychologist, name excapes me, that believes that negative feelings are normal and should be embraced.

So your mind keeps cycling back to her. Seems normal to me. In nursing you always learn to embace the worst case scenerio and be ready and prepared for it. So- worst case scenerio- they were madly in love. Or you were plan B. Can you handle this, moving forward? If you can look at worst case scernios or thoughts and face and embrace them- maybe you can then move forward. Make sense?

Everyone is right, this is pretty much about you and what you can handle and process. Of course actions or inactions by your hubby will help or hinder the process.


Honestly, I think seeing her clothing and having them thrown away was a HUGE trigger for you. I think it really reopened a slowly healing wound. It was supposed to make you feel better but had the opposite affect, IMO. I can totally understand how that would happen.