Hey Maria, I was sad to read your posts and I really feel for you.
I'm glad he threw them away. If you are 'seeing someone' there are going to be gifts. It doesnt 'mean' it was this grand passion. Its just the done thing. Also, what gifts did he buy her? Do you know?
Helen got bf gifts, I found one in his BEDSIDE draw after I had moved back in, a dice s*x game. Nice. I had to tell him to throw it away! And aftershave and CD's yes. No clothes, but there are clothes he cant wear now, as she would wear his t-shirts/jumpers and I saw those photos of her in them, beaming.
Of course it hurts. I think you need to just make a decision, like a kind of pragmatic, practical decision. Yes it happened and hurts like hell... but I wanted him back, therefore, I'm just going to work on forgetting the details and feeling blessed I got my husband back. Like.. fake it till you make it ?
Just because you are fuming/hurting/resentful doesnt mean that is evidence that you dont love him as much as you thought, as you said, IMHO. The two things arent mutually exclusive. If you didnt love him so much, I guess it wouldnt hurt as much. I understand the obsession with her. Its like exorcising a demon.
I loved someone so much once, I couldnt imagine being apart from them. That burnt out in nearly 3 years and now, I literally dont want to see them ever again as long as I live. So yes, that can happen.
I believe you are 'romantiscing' their R, from the details you have. But you werent there and you werent in his heart and mind. You are seeing it from your POV, how you would feel, why you would do those things, why you would break up with someone. But you are not him and you are not a man?
