Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Hi DLS,

How are you doing tonight?

Actually the next position is a permanent part-time position, so it will be a step up if I get it. Also I hope for the full-time position too which will be great.

I am doing what I can, but not very good. I feel sick to my stomach today, and just tired and not very energetic today. I just want this feeling gone for good.

W does not even know what a mistake she is making with the OM from what the OMW said. He has some definite issues that he does not show to her. She will be so disappointed with him. I guess it could work too. I don't know. I know his kids are not real happy with him from what the OMW's wife told me. I don't think they are going to be happy with my W knowing she was cheating on their mother with the OM. I hope they make her life miserable if it goes that far. She so deserves it. I know I should not think this way, but I do. I am so hurt by what W has done.

She is just throwing our M away like it meant nothing. She makes me out to be the bad guy, and I do feel like the bad guy even if I am not. I do not like to feel this way. I hate the way I feel tonight!!!

[DaddyLongShanks]

Do something for yourself so you don't have to worry about it. You have to throw yourself into your own life.

OfficerInNeed W's A is about to get blown out further. The reason is W is having some fantasies about OM who is working on it with his W. OM has newfound love in his own W and thinking about having another kid. OfficerInNeed is hoping that his wife see's the facebook messages so it will be the final withdrawl from the memory of OM.

In your sitch, if OMW can shake this up and OM comes to his senses - it will be cheaper to stay home. Then your wife will get the dose that will save you.

Regardless, you can't worry about it, call OMW like you planned take care of yourself and I hope things work out for you.

I know what you say about the sick feelings, when they turn A on us its a different person and its scarey how far they can get twisted.

[LSG]

What are my options at this point? Do drastic measures work sometimes? What about suggesting that I want the marriage to end, and I do not want to live like this anymore. Would this be an effective way to save my marriage? Just wondering.

[DaddyLongShanks]

You might not worry about saving the marriage, save yourself and maybe through her own experience the wife comes home. Maybe she will not, that is the delimma. You have to save yourself anyway, so you need to make a list of things that you have to do and get them done.

About the wife, the OMW phone call on monday and maybe talk with her and get her sort of motivated in shaking OM up to save her marriage. What he's doing is not good for her kids. A W will go to almost any extent to protect her kids.

Save yourself, hopefully OM is shaken up hard enough to dump your W. Maybe you'll take her back maybe you won't, maybe she'll come back hard after understanding she put so much on the line, and maybe she won't.

[LSG]

DLS - All very good points. You made me know what to say to OMW and how to say it. It will definitely gain some traction with her.

Thanks

[LSG]

I am going out of my mind lately. W is absolutely pulling out all the stops to make me miserable. Since I have been working at this temporary position, she has somehow turned the kids against me. D said mom is going to divorce me for some reason. I don't know what they have been talking about while she is with her, but it is not good. She told D all sorts of things, and now D wants to go to Japan. I am worried if they go that they will never come back. I have so much stress these days. W is absolutely out to destroy me. She is trying to pay the bills and do everything to make it look like she is primary parent.

I am considering D only to save myself and the kids. I need to do something soon before it is too late. I don't know what to think or what I should do. I don't know this woman anymore. She is cruel, awful, and evil to me. She is doing what she can to make the kids not want to be with me.

I really need everyone's input into my thread now. I have to do something. Her mediator, the OM, her mother, and everyone else she knows are conspiring to destroy me. No one has to believe me, but it is true. She is systematically tearing apart everything in my family and trying to make me irrelevant.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I do know I have to do something soon.

[DaddyLongShanks]

I am going out of my mind lately. W is absolutely pulling out all the stops to make me miserable. Since I have been working at this temporary position, she has somehow turned the kids against me. D said mom is going to divorce me for some reason. I don't know what they have been talking about while she is with her, but it is not good. She told D all sorts of things, and now D wants to go to Japan. I am worried if they go that they will never come back. I have so much stress these days. W is absolutely out to destroy me. She is trying to pay the bills and do everything to make it look like she is primary parent.

I am considering D only to save myself and the kids. I need to do something soon before it is too late. I don't know what to think or what I should do. I don't know this woman anymore. She is cruel, awful, and evil to me. She is doing what she can to make the kids not want to be with me.

I really need everyone's input into my thread now. I have to do something. Her mediator, the OM, her mother, and everyone else she knows are conspiring to destroy me. No one has to believe me, but it is true. She is systematically tearing apart everything in my family and trying to make me irrelevant.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I do know I have to do something soon.

Me too. Mine does it because she feels she gets empowerment over it. "For power". I believe she may have discovered that half way along in her affairs, a feeling of superiority or control over me. It is evil.

In my sitch, my wife basically disinvolved me from everything regarding the family and her needs. I know her needs are getting met somewhere. I don't know why she cut me out, but the level of control she wanted over the primary household wouldn't work for ANYBODY, let alone me. I believe as I mentioned it over the years, there were pain points for her and she further fueled it. I'm sure she has tape recordings in her head that she replays to fuel her anger.

She can come out of this persona, but the OM has to really do her wrong and dump her in a humiliating fashion.

[LSG]

How would I get that to happen? I will contact the OMW tomorrow.

I do plan to tell W I have been talking to OMW eventually I think. Made no final plans to do this yet. I need to talk to OMW first before I make any decision.

What do you think?

[DaddyLongShanks]

How would I get that to happen? I will contact the OMW tomorrow.

I do plan to tell W I have been talking to OMW eventually I think. Made no final plans to do this yet. I need to talk to OMW first before I make any decision.

What do you think?

OMW needs to get riled up behind this and saving her family. My grandmother told me last night, that some of the W's don't care because they view the new wife as additional power.

It depends on the morals and ethics of the OMW.

[LSG]

Son would not get ready this morning, so I picked him up to take him to his room. He tried to grab this plastic container. He cried that he hurt his arm. She came running in that I the way I was doing things is wrong when she does nothing. He was acting like nothing happened moments later. I confronted her to not suggest that I was doing something bad to my son. She said, "get out of my sight." I told her I would not leave until I said what I had to. She said that I better find a place to stay soon.

I do not know how to handle my sitch so much these days.

Any suggestions?