talking with SIL though, all I could think of is someday, when they are older and in a relationship, or when they are turning 30, 40, 50 or whatever, that their Dad, basically abandoning them for OW, would be the "childhood" trauma that causes MLC for THEM!!!
I remember having that SAME thought about son(23), when he was 15, and asking so many questions about his dad's MLC.
I believe by the time son reaches his mid 30's, this will be forgotten, and he will have to deal with a transition/MLC; and one of the issues may be what he observed his dad going through..nothing I can do about that except commit that to the hands of the Lord.
Although I learned so much through my husband's MLC, I STILL had to deal with my own transition...and believe or not, for some reason could NOT remember anything I'd been taught or had taught others EXCEPT the fastest way out was to FACE the issues that hit me in the face.
Even then, it took me 6 years, I apparently had a great deal more damage done during childhood than my husband did to process through.
The rest of it was faded, jaded, and literally gone for the time I stayed in the tunnel. I even had to re-process his MLC right along with everything else I had to face..go figure.
Yet, I came through just fine.
I think it all goes back to trusting the Lord for your children's well being during this time and for the rest of their natural lives, as NOBODY that I know of gets out of this growing process that comes for all adults.
Hey, I did some arguing about it, asked the Lord to remove the feelings I was having in the beginning of The Change, but didn't escape it, either.
I'm sorry, I know I'm not helping.
Have a good one. You're doing fine.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
