Emailing/ talking while still emotional won't help you, cos you're acting out of your feeling and not rational thinking... if anything you'll drive her away further.
I had NC for a while, then when H emailed I'd responded a week- 10days later with positive stuff I'm looking forward to in near future on my own... without any R talk. I kept it short. He replied with a positive sounding email saying he liked it.
Since then I hold myself from typing emotional or R talk emails. When I get the strong urge I type everything I want to say, then instead of sending it save it to draft... which calms me down a lot as it feels like I've actually sent it.
Maybe you can write her a letter but NOT send it. If you want you can keep it and later re-think if it's appropriate, that way you can judge it with a clear head and not regret your actions.
I know I make it sound easy... I thought I was detaching quite well but all the emotions came flooding back and over the w/e I just couldn't stop crying.
Hang in there, don't rush to do stuff you might regret later.
Me:38 H:37, no kids Married: 2.5 yrs, together 5yrs Separated since Mar 2010
