Well, this afternoon did not turn out very well. Remember I have been going through boxes we had stored in the garage. I found some books that belong to my h. There was also a good stack of mail that was for him, plus I had to get him the electric bill. So, I packed everything up in a bag and drove to his place with the only intention of handing it to him and leaving. I figured if he talked to me that would be a bonus, but I wasn't going to count on him doing that. I even prayed on my drive there that he would be calm and he wouldn't be hateful again.

So much for that. mad He opened the door yelling at me that I was not allowed to be at his place. I don't now where he got that idea since there is nothing written down or ordered for me to stay away from him. He first took the bag when I handed it to him, but then laid it on the ground. He went back inside and closed the door. So, I figured I would just hang it on his doorknob, so I did and got in the car to leave. All of a sudden he opens the door, grabs the bag and starts throwing books at the car!! I stopped the car and yelled stop, and asked him what in the world he was doing! Mail was flying everywhere and his books were scattered. One book hit the windshield of the car pretty hard. The bad thing is that I was driving my daughter's car since mine is broken down. (needs a starter, which he could fix, but he refused to help me) I started picking everything up and he called me the dreaded "C" word. shocked I still can not believe he did that! I looked back at him in total shock and yelled what?! He slammed the door.

Well, I decided that I should call the police because he probably would and who knows what story he would tell them. As I was on the phone, he came out of the house like he was going to leave. I told the dispatcher he was leaving. When he heard me, he went back inside. When he came out, he told me he dialed 911 on me. I looked at him like he was nuts and asked him why in the world would he do that when the police were already on their way. He said he wanted to make sure there was a complaint against me.

When the police got there I walked over towards them. The male went to talk to h, and the female officer stood and talked to me. And, of course by this time, I was crying. I told her what happened and also told her he was acting irrational and has not been himself in a long time. I said, you would never believe that my husband is actually a kind, quiet man who would never say a mean thing to anyone. And now he's calling me the filthiest thing in the book! She said, well it's obvious there is something wrong with him. I then went on to tell her what he told me about when he proposed to me. How he was afraid for his life because he thought I would kill him, but he went ahead and asked me to marry him anyway. Yeah, he was so afraid he slept with me, we have 3 kids, and been married for almost 33 years! She said, yeah, there is definitely something wrong with him, but unless he is a danger to self or others, we can't take him in. We can only wait for him to completely break down, or give a reason to be arrested. They would then see the record and take him to the hospital. I said yes, I know about all of that, but unfortunately he hasn't done or said anything that would get him there. He's close.....ever so close. I explained to her how I used to work in a mental health facility and saw clients act like him all the time and he was just on the edge of qualifying for a 72 hr. hold. She agreed with me! She said what he did was completely unreasonable and the facts are he was the one who acted violently. She then laughed and asked me if I was aware he had also called the police. I said yes, and I told him I thought it was a pretty dumb thing to do. Not to mention a waste of police time.

She went to speak with the other officer to see if there was a different story and came back to me and said he admitted throwing everything at me. I asked her if I could give her everything so he would get it. He heard me and said I could throw the books away. I looked at her and said, now you know if I do that, he will complain that I destroyed his property. So, now I will just have to store them again. tired She suggested that I stay away from him before he gets worse and I get hurt the next time. I agreed with her. She also said I should send the electric bill to him by certified mail. I told her sure, I could do that, but it ticks me off that I am the one with hardly any money and now I have to spend money to get the bill to him when he can't act civil or like an adult to take care of the bill! She agreed, but told me at least one person should act like an adult. So, here I go again, being the responsible one! smile The officer went on to say that I deserved better than this. I told her that was the same advice I gave other people, but it is sure hard to look at it objectively when you're the one in the situation! She agreed.

I gave the officer the mail to give to him and left. I later sent h a text letting him know he would have to send me the new sticker for the license plate and he should send it certified mail. He replied that he was going to get the title changed before that. When I told him he wasn't allowed to make any changes like that until the divorce was final, he argued that he was right and I didn't know what I was talking about. I just replied "whatever, I'm not going to argue with you."

My goodness, h has certainly come a long way in a little over a month when he was calling me and taking me out to dinner! While we were waiting for the police to come,I commented that certainly he knew by this behavior that this wasn't normal or healthy and something was wrong. He ever so sarcastically said, "that's not what the therapist says." I said "oh yeah, like you are really seeing a therapist?" Then he said, "well maybe, maybe not." Good grief. He went on to say he even wanted the divorce to see if I was the problem or if he was
really in MLC. I laughed and said "you would rather ruin our lives and not even speak to your children because you choose to blame me instead of seeking help and admitting the problem could be you?" Of course, his answer was yes. I warned him that after everything was destroyed and he came to realize he was the one responsible for all the damage, the relationship with his wife and children might be forever damaged beyond repair. Was it worth that? He genuinely looked hurt by that and hung his head.

I hate this MLC with a passion!!! He was ranting that he had the right to demand I stay away from him. He had the right to say he didn't want to see me. I said "who is the one who gives you these rights?" He said, "well the court will." I said, "I suppose you're forgetting about what God says? What God says doesn't agree with the path you're on anymore, so you're ignoring Him?" Again, he hung his head.

I can tell he's at war with himself. And I know he's miserable. He looks awful. And him even mentioning the phrase midlife crisis tells me he's at least thinking he's going through something. Right now that might be the only hope I have that we could ever be together again. I just wish it would happen sooner than later.