Just found out she already filed

[ClingingToHope]

SR, I think you're doing fine. It's just been two months. At two months I was still living with a friend and taking sleeping pills to quiet my thoughts.

The first big thing I did was get a weekend job. I needed the money and it kept me busy instead of sitting around thinking "woe is me."

My GALing didn't really pick up until the end of summer. At first I hung out mostly with my 20-something co-workers because they are the ones likely going out.

Then I located an old HS friend on FB and went in to Chicago on a couple of occasions. I asked a Realtor friend in town who is single to go out a couple of times -- not on dates, as friends -- and those were fun.

A lady who owns a company in town had season hockey tickets -- we have a minor league team -- and I went to three games with her tickets.

I got a real break with an old co-worker. She's married to a friend of mine. He doesn't go out much. She goes out all the time, so I've found a running buddy who is female. That may be key. Women are more likely to talk to a guy who is with other women -- they've been pre-screened -- rather than someone who is just with a lot of dudes. She has a friend I'd like to ask out, but I'm waiting until I'm officially single.

I've done two divorce support groups through church. That hasn't helped me socially, but it gave me a night to get all of the pain out of my system.

I finally found a singles group through the church that wasn't a bunch of 60-year-olds. It's almost all 20s and 30s, but I feel and still look like I'm in my 30s, so that's going well.

At first, it was really, really, really a struggle to find things to do and it makes you feel the pain of separation even more. At this stage in life we shouldn't have to worry about that.

But as time goes on you build a network and more things just start popping up. I'm to the point now where I'm turning things down because I was overdoing things financially.

The class idea is a good one. I've thought about a cooking class. But right now my nights are pretty full. Monday I have softball. Tuesday is free. Wednesdays the girls. Thursdays with the singles group and then the weekend.

You know a big difference between you and I is that you are still in the family home. I was kicked out and resented it at first. Now, everything I see is something I've accomplished on my own. I have very few reminders of STBXW. In fact, this is going to help me long term. This year STBXW has to get the house ready for sale and then keep it clean in case there are any showings.

Knowing the real estate market, it's going to take a year to 18 months at least to sell -- it's going to be a short sale. So this is going to be her tough year.

SR, one thing I read that helped me. The first six months belongs to the WAS. They've been dreaming of being free for a long time, while we clung onto them for dear life.

At six months you will be getting your feet under you. The pain will be there, but you will have figured out the beginning of a new life. The second six months will belong to you.