I have been on a crying jag myself lately so I can relate to how hopeless this may feel. Good for you that you're working out some of your frustration in your garden! Exercise often helps me, or a good cry, and being thankful for the good things in my life. Do any of these work for you? What works for you?
One thing that has been helping with my current funk is a 5 CD set called "The Brain in Love" by Daniel Amen. Daniel Amen is a psychiatrist who does brain imaging research at the University of California Irvine. He has done a series of PBS specials about brain changes that occur with different types of mental health and physical conditions.
The CD from this set that I have found particularly useful lately is about Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs), in which he describes a technique originally described by Byron Katie. Briefly, when you are depressed about something Dr. Amen recommends that you ask yourself the following 5 questions:
1. Is it true? 2. Are you absolutely 100% sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that the thought is true? 3. How do you feel when you believe that thought? 4. How would you feel without that thought? 5. Finally, ask if the opposite of this negative thought might be true?
For me, the "root" thought that has brought on my unhappiness is that I feel that I will never find the kind of love relationship that I had with my H ever again..........but if I ask myself if I am ABSOLUTELY 100% sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that the thought is true, I have to admit that I cannot say with certainty that is true. HB has said many times that our spouses have free will, but even IF our spouses walk away forever (and we do not know with certainty at this point that that will happen) if we continue to take steps forward in our lives we may find another love, even richer, informed by the lessons we are learning now.
Working through this list may not change the facts of the situation, but it can help to relieve our suffering. I pray for your peace.
