What to do?

Do I confront her about my findings?

Do I start to distance myself and prepare for a separation?

This though, I cannot possibly imagine my W ever wanting to work things out. How can I gain her emotionally when she is emotionally attached to someone else and thinks everything we had/were is a huge mistake??

M: 27, W: 25
Together since: 01/31/00
M: 10/4/09 (8 Months)
ILBNILWY: 01/24/10
EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted).
Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10
Retrouvaille: 09/10/10