As I continue my descent into new levels of ridiculousness, I found myself looking forward to another Saturday morning at laughter yoga. White best friend chose not to go this time after selfishly making plans to volunteer to make lunches for disaster-relief workers.
I had RSVPed for two, so I considered my options. Who to take? I knew better than to ask black best friend. I'm actually forbidden to discuss laughter yoga with her after I told her about my first session. She also asked me not to tell anyone else that I went.
I asked a coworker, who would have gone but had already made plans to hike the Appalachian Trail. She said she has a little more than 2,000 miles to go to accomplish her goal. [Side note: the trail is about 2,175 miles long. She'd better buckle down and get with it.]
I finally decided to ask younger half-brother, who happens to be 15 and all-knowing. He agreed to go, but that was only after I gave him some misleading and incomplete information about what would actually happen.
I picked him up on Saturday morning and lost a few minutes trying to explain to father where I was taking brother. He did some head shaking and wanted to know why anyone would want to sit in a room with strangers and breathe.
On the drive there, brother articulated concern that we would be the only two not wearing bedsheets. I didn't tell brother that yoga and toga are not the same, as I did not want to destroy his "I'm 15 and therefore always right" self-concept.
The first kink in the plan occurred when interstate junction that leads directly to yoga place was closed. This forced us to go east instead of west, and I spent a few moments trying to think of the best way to backtrack. Brother offered to use my iPhone to map us there. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake.
Brother directed us off the interstate, which led us on a scenic journey through nowhere.
Here are some things that stand out from this venture: *navigation obviously not emphasized in educational institutions *brother unsure of purpose of compass or the letters that come up on maps (e.g., N, E, S, W, or more complicated combination of letters like SW, NE, etc.) *brother made comments like, "Are we the red dot or the green dot? I don't know which way we're supposed to go on the purple line. It just looks like it goes to the left, sort of. Are we going to the left right now?" *brother said we wouldn't be in this situation if I just had GPS (OR A BROTHER WHO COULD READ A MAP) *scenic journey allowed us to see such places as Teeter's Country Store (complete with the elderly in overalls on the porch), Pond Creek (hilarious name; even funnier that after I Googled it, I found that there are SEVERAL Pond Creeks in our great country. I mean, choose a name! Is it a pond or a creek?), the Taxidermy Super Store (I didn't know they still DID taxidermy), and long stretches of landscape with an absence of other humans *later confirmed the distance of the trip--left our county, went north into another county, then west into yet another county. Am checking into geography tutor for brother for summer *90 minutes after yoga would have ENDED, we arrived back in the city. Played it safe, took major roadways I know, and took brother for brunch at New York-style delicatessen *Further enhanced overall experience by visiting Target, which makes most people feel happy and comforted
Benefits of circuitous journey: *didn't need laughter yoga, as brother and I laughed plenty *was able to pinpoint gaps in brother's knowledge and ability to use technology without allowing him to think it had anything to do with him; supported his view that "iPhone is stupid and gives bad directions" *lengthy drive allowed brother to see rural sights [When I was growing up and my parents were still married, my father thought he was a farmer (9 acres but 5 tractors AND a combine). I spent lots of time in the middle of nowhere on other farms, on journeys to purchase new tractors, threshers, tillers, or state-of-the art plows. I was also dragged all over the county by my late maternal grandfather, the former long-time sheriff of our county. I visited my fair share of country stores and spend time with the elderly in overalls. Brother has never done or been exposed to these things, and it was good for him.] *now realize I should check with department of transportation for updates on interstate closings each Saturday before leaving for laughter yoga *remind myself that it's not unusual to drop $50 on simple brunch at delicatessen; knew this but obviously forgot until check came
The best news? THE DAY DIDN'T END THERE.
Tune in for the next post--An Afternoon with Grandmother.
