Red, What are your boundaries with this entire sitch? Where do YOU draw the line as to what you will deal with? What is your limit?
Just thoughts...becuase after reading all this going on for 3 years, the pending crimical charges against you, they way he treated you so badly before the A even occured. I am wondering why you have thought that this relationship was ever healthy. [Sorry, I don't want to be harsh]
It seems to me he has always put his needs first and foremost above you and the children. Working 80 hours a week, coming and going as he pleases, doing nothing to help raise the children to clean, not spending quality time with you. Controlling all the access to the money and allowing you no money. Why have you accepted this?
Maybe there is a side of him we do not know about.
To me this just screams codendency to a narcissistic man.
At what point do you say "I deserve better and am willing to work on the marraige when you have shown growth and maturity, in the mean time we are seperating. I will no longer tolerate you behaviors and actions." And mean it, follow through with actions.
Because seriously you do deserve better than this, right? (and I don't mean another man). And what are your children learning from this ugly dynamic with him living in the basement and behaving badly in front of them.
Have you called a DB coach? Got an IC for advice or MC?
Last edited by june72; 05/16/1003:52 PM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
