Hi Ken,

Hope you're doing OK today, and sorry for the brief hijack of your thread.

Originally Posted By: Allen A


IN the context of repairing a marriage no.
In the context of providing an offset to the destructive influences of the OP, yes.

While OP and their bad influences continue to seduce a WS, you have your work cut out for you.

Some FT can be very persuasive and getting a WS in the door to hear an alternative view can be effective by at least having a chance to put a doubt in the mind of the WS.




Thanks Allen. Maybe I will give it a go. Or do you think it is too late in my sitch? Shoud've been done in the beginning. Not after they've been living in fantasyland for 3 months.

I have been contemplating seeing a local solution based therapist in the last few days, now that my finances are more sorted I might be able to afford it. I wonder if inviting the WAW again in the 'pretence' of finding out exactly where my mistakes fell in the demise of our marriage for moving on purposes would do any good. She'd probably still say no I suppose, but maybe it would put a bit more pressure on their relationship if she were spending an hr a week with me too.

She's merely avoided the sMIL attempts to spell out the ridiculousness of her behaviour in the last few weeks, fobbed her off with no mention of any OW and merely "I shouldn't have got married." I suspect she knows what she has done is wrong, but feels it wasn't an affair as they allegedly didn't actually sleep together until 2 or 3 weeks after she asked me to leave because the R between us was over. I'd give anything to have her listen properly to someone explaining how damaging EAs are, and how easily they become PAs, and that the grass is NOT greener with a manipulative, serial predator with nothing in common with her.


Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.