I think we have a deal. It's not a great deal but one I can live with. There's still a couple final details to work out regarding time-lines, but the numbers are agreed to. I'm sure my atty would prefer to see higher amounts, but it's worth it to me to accept this and close the matter.
I went against everybody's advise and let him come over so that I could say I tried it his way. However, I was fully prepared to throw him out the door if he started acting up and spewing the crap that was in his last e-mail. (This conversation was very near the front door in case I needed to do just that.) Throwing his @ss out wasn't necessary as he actually behaved himself. I used the opportunity to respond to a couple of points that he made in the email, and he did say "I'm sorry" a couple times. I'm not sure if he actually gets it, but I at least stated my point of view. Examples: (1) the viciousness exhibited by his sister while his dad's estate was being settled is NOT an anomaly in his family- he can be just as vicious towards me, and he should consider getting help for his control and anger issues. (2)Getting my dog was not emotional manipulation of D17, Jazzie was for my own emotional well-being, and being really good for D17 also was a side benefit I hadn't expected. (3) I really couldn't care less about what he's doing dating-wise, and really don't have the inclination to "stalk" him, raid his mail, or do whatever his paranoid mind thinks is going on.
I pointed out that I behaved myself with class in leaving him alone, not bad-mouthing him to the kids, leaving his family alone (ok, except for the one time I talked to his sis-in-law- she was a bit closer to me than to him since we were the "in-laws" (long story), but still I admit, my bad. Everyone else still thinks he's a saint.)
I also told him I wasn't kicking in towards his legal expenses in this D (he had taken a draw against the HELOC for his retainer and wanted me to be responsible for half of the full HELOC balance), and his response was "but yours are free!" (Aside from the court costs, they are, but I didn't confirm that for him.) Bottom line- too bad for him, yay for me on that point.
