PS I also don't know what to do about the fact that H just bought a brand new, $20k car which will cost him about $350 a month plus insurance and taxes... he takes delivery of it on Monday. I told him that I will not support him getting a car to go see OW and we split our finances off. I did tell him that he can do what he needs to, and maybe encouraged him that way... but I showed him his budget and he's clearly in a loss position each month, and I'm in positive - since he has the kids, of course.
I feel like I told him it was OK, in his fog, he believed that is what I was saying to him. However, he was always that way before MLC, if he wants something he wants it and pines for it despite me saying no, and he never did grow out of that.
Maybe this is part of his MLC, though? I know he bought and paid for a car he loved while a young adult that was repossessed. Maybe he needs to have that happen again? Or almost happen and then man up and save himself? I just don't know... I guess trust the process, right?
