Mila, it doesn't matter what you share or not. I remember before I knew H was in an A, I still trusted him and took him out to eat to talk. He had told me he had "walls up" and was angry at me for a fight we had had... but insisted no A. I thought he had learned from past EA, and trusted him. Stupid, stupid me...
Anyway I had told him I was a moral, honest person and he laughed in my face. He said, what about when you were 15 (OK, 23 years ago, and 11 years before he met me) when you used to jump out of second floor windows to go to NYC on the bus to get high?
UM, OK... I said, are you crazy, I never did any such thing. Who on earth would jump out of a second floor window, they'd get their legs broken. And one time I went to NYC with a friend, but not in the middle of the night. I was a straight A student, are you insane.
He did the whole robot that just got wet thing... head jerking from side to side, "does not compute, does not compute" He looked so very confused, and said, "you didn't?" I just really thought he had lost his mind for a minute, but until that second, he really, really truly believed that I had done those things. No idea whatsoever where on earth he would have gotten that from...
Just an example, though. I'm sure some of the things you H tells OW are made up - depending on how far into the fog he is, he may actually believe it. My H truly, honestly believed that I did those things and I have no idea where he would have gotten such a crazy idea. Secondly, he exaggerates. Like my whole religion thing. I've always, always prayed and loved God, he knows this, nothing has changed in 12 years (until the last few weeks, which was way past when he said this to OW) - yet he told her I was becoming some sort of religious nut on the basis of me hanging the ten commandments on our kitchen wall and teaching the kids them.
Just some examples... of course, it's more fun when they "share" made up stuff because then you can sit back and laugh at the absurdity.
