I know that I'm supposed to avoid R talk, but is it possible that my case is an exception to the rule? Because as you say, she IS controlling our relationship right into a ditch. A normal unhappy spouse would either fix things or leave, but she is using me.
I could say to her, "What could I do that would be less controlling? Would you be better off single? What am I doing that is making me impossible to live with? [she would likely say - not allowing her to talk to OM. She also doesn't want me to say that she is having an affair or talk to her family about it if she leaves] Then I say, "What would you do if you were in my situation?"
I told her, "Expecting your spouse to not have an affair is not being controlling. It's a expectation that any normal person who gets married would and should expect."
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
