I couldn't say for sure or not if coffee is addictive, but I certainly find a distinct pleasure in it.
Last summer and fall when I was going through the thick of it, I was really falling apart. I became acutely aware of the ups and downs of my emotions; I was a wreck, and controlled that for awhile with Xanex (haven't had to take one of those for months). Had the sleeping problems for months, finally got that under control in probably Dec.
Anyway, I really had to cut coffee, because it had a big effect. I could tell pretty quickly after I'd had some, so learned fast that I couldn't have it. At least not much.
At this point I'm pretty much back to 3 large cups per day. Hadn't thought about it really. The good news is that it doesn't seem to be knocking me off kilter. The bad news is that I'm still taking sleeping meds, plus the anti-anxiety drug to help me sleep. Just as a matter of course at this point. That's kind of nuts.
So now that I think about it, I need to cut the coffee again. Thanks for the comment.
Thinking about XW today is like staring at a Necker cube. Just keeps flipping back and forth between missing her and being disgusted with her.
Worried about money with the support payments. Feel kind of lonely but not overbearingly so. Occupying myself with the boys and lots of chores and projects.
