Hey all, yes, I took off a few days, and then again today I spent with DSD - her friends blew her off again. More drama in teenage girl-land. Poor thing. She just wants a friend to stick with her and not do the drama, I hate you today and love you tomorrow thing.
Anyway, I have come to a new place of clarity and forgiveness and love with my situation and all involved. I've come to a realization of a few things I have to fix about myself. Taking off time really does help. Each time I do, I feel like I grow by leaps and bounds.
H took off today to stay out of DSD's way for her sweet sixteen party take 2. Second time he's left during it, second party attempt, second time no one showed up. This is not an unpopular girl, I just don't know what's going on. I have to dig a bit, I wouldn't be surprised if she's being snide to some friends b/c of the pain she's in. I know the school counselor said her brother has been depressed and angry at school and wanted to know what was up. Anyway, she had 10 people coming today and a pinata ready to go, cake, chips, hamburgers, soda... all sitting on the counter and looking sad. Poor thing, Mom moves several states away, best friend stops being her best friend b/c of jealousy, Dad goes into MLC, and she can't have a party that anyone shows up to. DSS20 was hanging with friends and came home to hang with sis when he found out what happened to her again, which I thought was just a very loving, sweet thing to do. They are such good kids, so I guess I didn't do everything wrong.
I'm feeling like I may apologize to H's XW for any part I may have played in the breakup of their M. I'm still thinking it through. It was 12 years ago, and he told me that he had asked for D long before I came along, she knew the score, he never loved her (sounding familiar?), he was sleeping on the couch... and I'm thinking, OMG, I was an A on his first W... well, he as much as came out and told MIL that I was. I feel like to achieve true forgiveness, I should apologize to her... any thoughts? I may not have known what was truly going on with them, but knowing what I know now about A's and knowing that H is capable of telling OW that he's never loved his W... well, it fits to me. I did ask him to date other people before we got serious, but he refused, and I believe now I should have insisted on some time before we really got together after his M ended... I was young and stupid and really uninformed.
