Pay attention to what the Lord shows you..the Lord is asking you to focus on YOU..and forgiveness is NOT for your husband; it is for YOU.
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He did NOT really hurt me, he hurt HIMSELF, and it was enough that HE had to deal with the damage he did to himself and his marriage. I had NOTHING to do with that. I learned to separate the behavior from the person, and I also learned NOT to take anything personally. I learned to understand that this was HIS problem, and I wasn't going to make it mine.
I suffered NO lasting damage from this, and I'm serious when I say that. The healing that occurred within me came from having forgiven, accepted all that happened and somehow integrated it into my life. You cannot heal until you forgive and accept what's happened.
HB thank you for this insight... I may actually have something to add to this. At times when I'm deep in thought, (usually while driving, oddly enough) I have a clear voice in my head (OK, now you're all thinking I'm nuts. LOL) The voice usually makes a lot of sense. Over the past two days I took off some time for prayer and one thing that came to me suddenly is that God HAD to separate H and I because we were "stagnant." That's all that the "voice" said, but it had so much more meaning to me because as soon as I heard that one sentence, all sorts of thoughts came flooding into my mind.
(As I'm writing my list, feel free everyone to make your own list - be honest here, even if it hurts) -H and I were not growing together -I had been talking about getting closer to God, but not actually doing anything about it -Our M was not the happiest it's ever been -Our M has so much potential for sheer joy and togetherness -We both had goals we were not working on, things we wanted to become and learn but had sacrificed for the "family" -I had given up my person to become wife/mother
And this ties in perfectly with what you say above because we ALL have to come to this realization. This was not done to us and IF we take this opportunity that has been given to us then we will become truly fulfilled in all that we desire.
Again, HB, thank you so much, you have truly blessed me. This adds so much depth and dimension to what I was shown in the car as I drove down that back road. Now I truly see the beauty of this. Yes, it hurts and yes, it sukcs - but getting past that, on a spiritual level, on the infinite level of the universe - this path we've all been set on is truly a blessing in disguise. Come on, how many of you can truly, in your hearts, say that you were totally happy and totally fulfilled in your lives together. I'm not saying no one will say "Me, me, I was totally happy and blissful with NO wants or desires or needs before bomb drop." However, I would not be surprised at all to hear a poll of everyone reading this came up with not a one that was totally satisfied with their M and lives prior to bomb drop.
I feel like you've brought this revelation around full circle to me and it's so timely that you posted this just a day after I was told the above.
