Yes, rr22, you are right! And thanks for the suggestion! I also thought about that and actually took steps in that direction. I rented a small apartment in his city from mid July to mid August. Since I have tried to broach this topic with him in the past, and the reaction was disastrous (as mentioned above he almost broke down), I haven't told him yet (my plan is to tell him only after I get there). His more calm explanation before was that he doesn't want me to come to his city with expectations that things can improve between us.
Honestly, I have almost no expectations right now. I think I am in this messy situation for the long haul and I am trying to arm myself with patience. Easier said than done...I still break down and cry every day.
I also need to go to get some docs and papers from our apartment there soon. Another thing to worry about, considering his possible reaction...I have the feeling that every time I have mentioned going there, it has precipitated his attempts to push me away (the first mention of D came that way). Or maybe am just reading into it, and he was anyway decided to ask for D...This is so tough!
