Piano about your WAH being in an MLC...is the lack of changing his appearance or buying a new car the only thing that is different from MWD's description? Because although I don't think my WH is in a full blown MLC he WAS having an affair and did not do things like changing his appearance or his schedule which are 2 symptoms of people having affairs. Do you see what I mean? Perhaps if 8/10 items fit, you can say it qualifies.
Old Pilot seems to be an expert and Whatnow is sooo smart and resourceful! I bet you could ask them their opinions!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I just have to add that I looked up Babies. It's actually FRENCH (ironic) and it doesn't have a release date in Australia, according to IMDB. It opens in France June 16.
Cheers Gatsby. Thanks for checking IMDB. It shouldn't be hard to get a copy.
Old Pilot did at one stage weigh in on this with my WAH. I think however we concluded it was more fear of fatherhood/responsibility that MLC. Will have to go back and check. And I believe the advice for the LBS was much the same- time and patience and GAL. But I think LBS' are also advised to go a bit softer on their spouses in MLC...even the ones in an A... anyways, food for thought & will go back and check it out more!
Piano, you sound like you are getting stronger! Im cheering for you and rooting for a huge sense of stregnth and power to help you get through the delivery and all of this madness.
((((Piano)))) Thanks for posting on my thread! You are an amazing woman, full of courage and strength! Your baby will be so blessed to have you as her mom. And seeing her, you will also move forward. It's great that your mom will be there with you on the big day! And I'm sending lots of positive energy your way!
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and energy (and thanks so much Fourleavclover for taking the time to come by and to post such nice things). To be frank, I wish this post would be different, but here goes anyway...
Yesterday I asked WH to contact me and spend some time talking about a few baby related decisions (who to have as godparents, if we wanted to do that).
WH sms me a few hrs later to say he is "swamped" with work (busy, busy, busy, hear!!) but he'll call me in the arvo. 9PM sms saying had a big day, tired (tired, tired, tired) and he'll call me tomorrow.
Calls me today and starts off OK because I answered the phone in good spirits: "Oh! It's the Mystery Man!" and he chuckled. He said, "Good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour", at which point I...lost my sense of humour! (groan).
Basically it went downhill from there, esp when I said (again ---groan) I would like more involvement from him, some financial and parenting assurances. He told me he didn't want to talk until after the baby was born (what? like when I am at my most comatosed? how fabulous for him!), that his refusal to see/meet/speak with me often and the breakdown of our marriage has nothing to do with OW. Ok then really embarrassing ---- I said are you saving your money up to bring OW out here? He said no. I said are you saving up to buy your ticket out of here? He said no. (pathetic me)
The one good thing he said was that he told me how much he is earning in his temporary job, that he would be buying the car seat, and that he was interested in going back alone to see the co-parenting psychiatrist we saw once together at my insistance (and who has seen me a lot indivually). I asked why. He couldn't really say. Then I asked if he wanted to see a relationships counselor so he could exit our marriage with some answers or due process, and he said No way, I don't need it. (yeah, right! and besides, I obviously do!!)
Then he said I don't want to talk anymore, I have an appointment. I said, well reschedule this conversation with me then. He said no, I don't want to talk to you again before the birth. And hung up on me.
So, feeling the dead end in front of me, I sent him an email saying I am done, I withdraw all my emotions and feelings, to collect all his belongings by Friday, to stay away from the hospital, that he would get a call when he can see the baby, and that we can leave all the financial stuff to lawyers. I also said I hoped he found good help and that things worked out for him.
I was suprised that I didn't break down after sending the email. And it was a good 8 hours ago.
I'll weigh in again if you wish, but you must be awful close to having this baby. IMHO that is the most important thing to worry about right now. Forget your WH, worry about YOU & baby. When is the expected day?
Piano good luck, I wish for you a HAPPY HEALTHY BABY, that is the most important thing in your life right now. Enjoy, they grow up fast!
Piano, I believe that you followed reality. Your H like my W are in la la land. They have let us know they are no longer interested. I think that's a great email , but ithink in person would have been more effective. You have lost him. You need tomove forward. Get yourself protected with a L. Look after you and your child. Your strong and you can do it.
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
It opens in France June 16.