BD, hang in there..and practice patience. It's looking good for you. Everything is positive. Have you bad days, but don't act or communicate them to H. Accept them as part of YOUR process.
I hope your grandma is better? Mine had a fall last week too - it's always upsetting. And wrapping up at work is hard going.
Re-read your reports of your H when you get frustrated. DBing takes MONTHS not weeks...keep telling yourself that!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Grandmother is ok... fractured a few bones, pelvis, tail bone and possibly ribs... spirits are good... most likely going to a rehab center this week.
H and I have been in communication. Im starting to just feel sadness as i think this is the most our lives will ever be. Hard to accept and digest. thinking of calling it all quits... sorry to sound so sour... but what is this really? what if this is the most we will ever be... i cant stop loving him?
after all that he did and the hurt i feel, i would forgive him in a heartbeat.
Remember you don't have to divorce him right now! You can take a break from seeing him, or limit your interactions, give birth, do some DBing (if you feel like it) and then I recommend waiting no more than 6 months post birth before you go dark or tell him you want to D if he still hasn't come around. I think for me, if I started DBing or found DB right away after S birth, I would have been done earlier! Like January or February!
I think with all of us whose H's left when we were pregnant- they think we will always be there because we are "stuck" so to speak. None of our H's have rushed to divorce us,either. Sure, mine has brought it up (as did yours-but he wants more time right?) but has yet to follow through.
And wow- your poor grandmother! What a tough lady to endure all of those broken bones!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Yeah, the polite and friendly interraction - I find it "chilling", personally! I think again NMs advice is right...remember things aren't going to feel good or resemble the old days (if they ever will) overnight... think weeks and months.
So, what are you going to do with your weeks and months? Again, NM has it. Have your baby, take each day (or hour!) at a time. Don't concentrate on missing H. Concentrate on how brave and strong you are to be doing this alone. Sometimes I recall something someone wrote here (sorry that's VERY VAGUE!) - "there are times in life when we need to do things alone". This is one of those times.
It doesn't mean there is no hope. We just don't know what the future holds.
You have been doing so great. You will continue to do so. I have a lot of hope for your sitch. Your H is more involved than mine or Gatsby's. But you gotta get strong again, BD! Be the light that draws him back. Be strong, attractive, think of all the wins you have had recently!!
Keep doing what works! You are on the right track.
