2 weeks left to DB

[newmama]

He just needs to see the baby so he can say I Am Not Like My Dad and so that important people back in Europe get the impression that he was 'responsible' in the way he left us (we 'separated', not he abandonnned us) and did the 'right' thing by me and didn't run away (even thouigh he has & I've hardly seen him). Thank God BIL has been here and seen the truth of things first hand.

OK so maybe for himself he can say he is not like his dad if he sees the baby. But seriously- are Europeans THAT different from Americans or Australians where they will think a man is responsible because he chose to separate from his PREGNANT WIFE and how is he not running away from you when he will leave right after the baby is born? Ummmm...no....people see right through that! I have an example I will share later.

I have said everything I can say to WAH (I will stop referring him to H from now on) & my focus now will really shift.

exactly the reason why I say WH and not H- wayward (cheater!!!!) husband

The bottom line is that if he wants to "come back," nothing will stop him. And if he doesn't, same thing. I really hope that he gives three months to the baby to really bond. Maybe with his brother being there, it will help.

I agree. But just because he doesn't come back right away doesn't mean he won't ever come back. I just was looking at a q I posted back in November in the piecing forum where I asked if the walkaway spouses showed signs they wanted to return before they actually did. A couple of people said it took 18 mo-2years for their spouses to realize their A was a load of crap. And I just read another one where they divorced- her exH cheated on her with an old girlfriend of his- and he broke up with the OW after 2 years.


OK now about the bonding- don't forget what I found out- remember how the motivation for me to let my WH come to the house and see S so often was because I wanted S to bond with his dad and vice versa? Well I also found out (from reading and from living it) that the baby only cares about eating and sleeping and being loved from momma the first 3 months! Have you seen that yet? SO after 3 months of life, the baby can still bond to dad. Isn't it the first 3 years of life where bonding with parents is most essential?