Changing the locks is an option, but this will be done when things turn really nasty. Again keeping things to the same level for now.
Is her name on the house title or mortgage? It may not be legal for you the change the locks until that is changed.
On the other hand, if she is still on the mortgage, then she may still be obligated to help pay the monthly payments. Does she expect a share in the equity of the house? A portion of those payments likely go towards equity.
Again, I think you need to see a lawyer right away. This stuff is complicated, and our emotions really lead us to poor choices. I could tally up the advice I ignored out of fear of driving my WAW away, but you get the point right? Don't view seeing the lawyer as a step towards divorce, but as a step in protecting your family.
If the house was bought during the marriage, then it doesn't matter whether or not her name is on the house title or mortgage...the house, and any equity, is half hers...up until the time that she left the marriage. And so are the financial obligations of maintaining the house...up until the time that she left the marriage. I agree with Awoken...see a lawyer. Don't operate on the basis of fear...fear of driving her away. Operate on the basis of strength, sound logic and reason.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
