I do have a question though...as I was talking to my mom (who, I do realize, is not a good source of advice), she suggested that my being just fine & surviving without him will just help in making him angry and pushing him away further. He didn't feel like I needed him when he was here, and now nothing has changed since he's left & I'm still just as independent, thus proving his point that I didn't need him or want him. Seeing as how of his biggest complaints (to me) was that I didn't do anything like clean the house or take care of the house & treated him like a housekeeper/babysitter.
I know the way a rational person would react when faced with this, but what about the MLCer. What about when his complaint is that he didn't matter except as hired help? Is showing him how happy & I am (not) and proving that I can do this on my own going to make him feel like he was right all along & he was just here to watch the kids?
Or will taking care of everything with him gone prove that I can (and was) capable of taking care of everyone/everything and that his role in our family was (is) so much more than that?
With running the risk of sounding snarky.....
Who cares ?
Seriously though.
Living well is for YOU, not him.
He has issues that are keeping him from seeing what really was and was not.
These issues are his Shel, not yours.
If you live your life to please another, in a relationship. Then you are being false and not true to you.
The changes that you make, are for you to become a person that someone would be a fool to walk away from.
