I think this is my home for the next 6 months...

[beingreal]

My kingdom for some lemon juice.


S6 came to me & said he didn't feel well...fever of 100.7. Well, crud. I medicated him & went looking for the coach's phone number. A brief overview--H was supposed to be the coach but backed out days before the first practice because he moved out. Left the team in a lurch, but the asst. coach stepped up & is now the coach. Problem is, I don't have any idea of what this guys' name or number is. "Coach Joe" isn't listed in the phone book. The youth sports director isn't home. I don't know the other parents.

I don't want to just not show up to the first game--that annoyed H when people did it to him (although looking back I don't really know why--they are just kids, rotate them through the batting order & play ball already.) But I wanted to at least be respectful...

I thought of you as I was dialing his number, Mach. He answered was pleasant, claimed he didn't know anything about the coach--with a tone that made it sound like I had just asked him if he knew the number of my hair stylists's sister's boyfriend's cousin's neighbor who was at that party that time for that guy we didn't really knew who knows the girl who sells candles???

Me: Hi, H. Hey--do you happen to know the S6's coach's last name or maybe have his phone number?
H: Don't know that, sorry.
Me: Okay...S6 woke up with a fever & doesn't want to play today. I just wanted to tell him.
H: Hmmm. Well tell S6 that I hope he feels better.


*Tell him I hope he feels better?* Why don't you tell him you hope he feels better? In fact why don't you talk to them for the first time in two and a half days? While you're talking to them, maybe you could tell them whether or not you are actually going tot he races with them & my dad tomorrow since you've not really said you were but they seem to think you are & can't wait. Huh?? Why don't you do that???

on the inside

(in a happy, light tone)
Me: I sure will. Thanks anyway, bye.
*click*

ugh...note to self--utilize contact list on new cell phone and add EVERYONE who you might need to contact so you don't ever have to call him again for a stupid phone number. Oh, and decide what qualifies as a "contacting H" worthy emergency. I'm starting to think that just not showing up & apologizing next weekend might have sufficed. Not entirely polite, but circumstances being what they are...


I do have a question though...as I was talking to my mom (who, I do realize, is not a good source of advice), she suggested that my being just fine & surviving without him will just help in making him angry and pushing him away further. He didn't feel like I needed him when he was here, and now nothing has changed since he's left & I'm still just as independent, thus proving his point that I didn't need him or want him. Seeing as how one of his biggest complaints (to me) was that I didn't do anything like clean the house or take care of the kids & treated him like a housekeeper/babysitter.

I know the way a rational person would react when faced with this, but what about the MLCer. What about when his complaint is that he didn't matter except as hired help? Is showing him how happy & I am (not) and proving that I can do this on my own going to make him feel like he was right all along & he was just here to watch the kids?

Or will taking care of everything with him gone prove that I can (and was) capable of taking care of everyone/everything and that his role in our family was (is) so much more than that?