I did a lot of reflecting last night on the path we as a family are currently walking. I realised that H has made huge strides towards home since he started his journey and I am at the point of starting to push. Other LSB have identified this as a problem so need to side step it if I can.
We know this all takes time and patience and yet I am ready to jepardise his path forward by changing my approach. Even when I got it wrong at Easter he kept coming home and showing me positives.
I have to remind myself that just because he is back in the tunnel doesn't mean he isn't making progress. Amazingly I feel I have detached further. Each time a new bomb is dropped my sadness lasts for less time and I recover more quickly. This is the only way to survive isn't it.
One big positive from this is the kids and I are so much closer and they know I won't let them down. Unfortunately one S is struggling again with H not being here. This is one of the consequences of H being around more it reminds S of the 'old days'.
But S is also very astute emotionally and I think he feels a difference in his dad as well. This makes S want to push and has already said I wish we were back to normal.
I will contniue to GAL and do the things I want to.
So I will watch and wait. Contnue to see the positive and not dwell on the negatives.
