First, sorry you find yourself here, but this is the greatest place none of us ever wanted to find. You will find many selfless people who have been through exactly what you are going through (including me) and want to help.
Second, you have already received some great advice. The list from Sandi (who is fantastic) is one of my favorites.
One thing that I think would help you is to focus on YOU. Working on yourself and, more importantly, taking care of yourself. You are going to have to be your own support in your M right now, b/c your H is not going to take on that role. That was one of the hardest things I had to come to grips with early on.
One of the books that helped me (in addition to DR and DB) was "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. Really helped me realize that no matter what happened, I would not only be OK, but I would thrive. And, I have found that to be true.
