I think this is my home for the next 6 months...

[beingreal]

I'm good, thank you. I finally got some sleep. It's amazing how badly a little sleep deprivation can mess with your head & exacerbate an already confusing situation. *sigh*

But I'm better.

I *just* got a fancy-schmancy cell phone from my parents, we've used tracfones up until now because I refuse to pay that much money. So I gave the trac to S8 for when he goes to visit H. I will feel better knowing that he has some way to call someone, I loaded it with everyone's numbers. He thinks he is so cool. lol

I do have H in the contacts, but under the ICE contacts, just in case. Just to prove what a techno loser I am...I've never sent a text. Ever. I'm a texting virgin. But if that contact button ever gets tempting, I'll be sure to delete it, Mach. Thanks for the tip.

Right now I'd rather shoot lemon juice in my eye than talk to H. :P

I've been reading quite a bit this morning from the resources thread. I'm fascinated with the *why they run* thread. I'd never realized just how much H's R with his father could have messed him up. My father grew up with an alcoholic abusive father & a workaholic mother (how he became a wonderful father I will never know)--so hearing that FIL worked all the time but never spent money on his family just didn't seem like that big of a deal. H says he *hates* his dad most of the time--but he's becoming just like him. So much more to investigate there.

Father worked all the time, but was emotionally unavailable and financially irresponsible. Maybe that played some part when he felt that he wasn't providing an income to take care of us. Being afraid of becoming his father just pushed him more into acting like his father.

Who knows? I can see the possibility in that, though.

I do have the DR book. I read the MLC part (albeit a bit too late), but will jump from where I am to the part you suggested, Eric. Thanks for mentioning it. I've not been reading it very quickly these past few days, I've been engrossed in OPs homework list. It's really an eyeopener. It's like someone has just been observing H for the past few years & writing it all down. It's nice to know that I'm not crazy after all, but scary to think that this could take years to get through.


I've been thinking about what I wrote about my mom & how she thinks H is just being a jerk. I can see where she would want to defend me & make the pain go away at any cost...but there are bigger issues there with her. I (and *most* of her friends) believe that she is deeply involved in the middle of an EA with a man who lives across the country. They were childhood friends and stayed friends as adults. Their communication picked up as his wife was in the end stages of MS. My parents would go visit them, they would come here, it was always family affairs. His wife died a few years ago & my mom has always viewed this man with almost hero-like worship. He is wonderful and giving and sacrificed himself and blah blah blah, especially when compared to my workaholic father who didn't pay her enough attention, so-on-and-so-forth. (btw--my dad can't do anything right anymore even if he tried, so he's just quit trying.)

you can point out how inappropriate it is that she be sharing such intimate feelings and thoughts with OM (I don't think sexual, but really nothing would surprise me anymore). They are just friends and she will argue with you that she deserves to have him in her life, she hopes he dates again soon (W has been gone for over two years, he's had two dates), she wishes he would move back here so she could *help him* more. Uh, yeah. Right.

Sooooo....my point is (because I'm a little wordy ), I couldn't explain MLC to her if my life depended on it for one of two reasons--she is either IN one, or facing that H has gone bonkers & I'm standing by would force her to take a good hard look at her own marriage & what she could have done.

I can look to my parents for support and acceptance, but not for understanding in this. I don't think many people would understand this unless they've been though it. I'm going to have to learn to say "just trust me" when people ask why I'm just sitting here letting H have his "mini vacation".

My, what a messy world I live in, huh?



On a brighter note...S6's first Tball game & then off to get Milo. It's going to be a beautiful day.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!