I finally had to tell the guy who was the best man at our wedding. More people with the shock and surprise. I ended up seeing him for a while, having coffee with two different mates, and dinner with a third and her kids. Lots of people.... but not the right one.
I sent my wife an email this morning... I hope this is a form of 'detaching'.
I said that as she hadn't replied to my last email (which as I said before, was a bit harsh), I didn't know if she intends on calling me as usual on Weds. I told her that I wasn't going to sit around and wait for her to call, and I wasn't going to try to convince her that she should. I told her outright not to call me. If she wants to call me she can send me an email and arrange a time.
It's possibly going to be seen as an attack, but I needed to say something for my own piece of mind. I needed to not be fretting about will she/won't she all week.
... I'm getting to my breaking point. If my wife refuses to see me... to even SPEAK to me, then there can't be such a thing as divorce busting. There can't be a way to deal with this.
I've started work on a letter.... I'm close to sending it, but I'll wait until next week. The letter is me dropping the rope... and then some. The letter is me saying goodbye, saying all the things that she won't let me say... and the letter tells her that I will never contact her again.
It hurts so badly, but I don't think I have any other choice. I can't be married to someone who suddenly hates me so much that they refuse to even speak to me. I'm not a bad person. I never swore at her, I never hit her, I never treated her bad. I supported her through her qualifications and her stressful job. I never guilted her about working ridiculous hours. I just loved her.
Yes I have faults and flaws a plenty, and yes I want to work on them.... but I don't think I can hold on to this anymore. She's never coming back to me and I have to come to terms with this. I have to grieve my loss, and I have to find a way to keep on living.
Today is a black day.
Me: 29 H: 25 T:7yrs M:5yrs
Bomb: 23/04/10
Had no idea anything was wrong. Cheated so she could end it without talking.
