New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

A lot of times what happens though is that they find excuses to contact you. To feel you out and see how much you have moved on

Well, maybe this is exactly what happened today. I haven't contacted W for any reason for the past 2 weeks. Then out of the blue W calls. She tried to call twice already during the day but I didn't return the call. This evening, she calls again and I decide to answer. She said she lost her debit card and just wanted me to know about it. She said she already contacted our bank and made arrangements to have a new card sent out.

Later I thought about all this and somehow concluded that W could have just emailed me to inform me. Especially when she lost the debit card 2 days ago. I ended asking how the boys were doing and she shared a bit of info. Very nice conversation albeit short. Nice nonetheless. Maybe 2 years ago I would have freaked out about her losing her debit card. But that was 2 years ago. This evening, I told W not to worry and that it was an easy fix. Calm, composed, and reassuring. That's how I portrayed myself. Maybe W noticed...

In any case, there were no negative emotions at all in W's voice this evening. And I just showcased myself as a calm and collected person. Maybe that reassured her as well and she didn't need to put up defenses or be on her guard. I didn't make a big deal at all about the lost debit card (I would have 2 years ago...).

Good interaction. I'll stay detached still and see if W will initiate contact again sometime soon... More to follow. Can I count tonight's contact as W trying to find an excuse to feel me out ???

JR09