I still think that being dark at this particular time is the right decision for me...I have to find my footing again. As for the long run, friendly with boundaries would be more "true" to me. I also believe that they have to see you as the person they would want to be with (person they fell in love with in the first place) to turn back to you.
This is your intuition(I call it the Lord) speaking to you, Mila. And you are right on the mark.
You've no idea how many times I've read what you've said your "intuition" impresses/tells you to do, and I've gotten confirmation that you're on the right track, and to keep doing what you're doing.
Pay strict attention to what you're feeling...I know I've said this before; it won't steer you wrong. You'll have the feeling to do or say certain things at certain times, and although you may be afraid, do it anyway...it is meant to help the situation along, and bring him forward more.
This does NOT mean you are being sucked into his drama when you obey your inner gut feeling/intuition...it simply means your interaction is needed at certain points of this.
There ARE certain times when the LBS is guided into doing/saying things that are against what they've been raised with and it is for good reason, to help the MLC'er come forward.
I've been there..there were times I was told to leave him be, and at other times, I had to get involved, as it meant him coming forward, and I had to do and say exactly what I was told at the right time, and I always KNEW what the right time was.
I was AFRAID every time I received an instruction of that sort to approach him, but courage is born out of fear, and I stepped out, anyway, trusting that things would be all right, and they were.
Sometimes, after being instructed to do something/say something, it may take some time to show the results, but the results always DO show.
Each person/MLC situation is different and not every situation is going to require the SAME kind of handling...what worked for me, might not work for someone else..just as what works for you, will not work for another.
I have seen people's intuition actually strengthened through this trial, becoming a greater strength than it was BEFORE the trial commenced. And that can only be beneficial to OTHERS that come after you.
Through exercising this particular gift, you will see it grow and strengthen on its own, becoming MORE confident in it's presence.
I have to admit when I first heard a voice in my head that I instinctively recognized, I was startled. I had to adjust to hearing someone besides ME in my head, and I was afraid to tell anyone for fear they would think I was schizophrenic, or worse, crazy.
My fears were calmed when I realized WHO it was, and there is a physical sensation that acccompanies that voice...He was consistent with His presence within me, and in time I adjusted to His presence within.
I had felt Him in other ways, as I have other gifts, BUT actually hearing Him was very new to me. Before, I had had impressions/feelings that were never clear in their intentions.
I had to learn to allow Him in to speak to me, and I'd asked for Him to do that.
He will NOT force His way in, you have to allow it to happen, and when you LEARN to yield to Him, it becomes natural, but even that takes time to come about.
It had just struck me once again, as the Lord was confirming, yet again, that He is involved in this situation...and is helping you, Mila.
When God is for us, WHO can be against us?
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
