holdingon - dang, thanks so much, so sweet of you to say - yeah i guess we are all on the upswing again - hey the boat may be rockin, but my feet are firmly planted
cathy - yeah it's contagious - i think by george we are all "getting it" finally!!!
pam - girlfriend, you are an inspiration, keep it up cause there are LOADS of life left!!!!
deb - woohoo a gold star!!! thanks deb, you attributed to this ya know, in fact everyone did - this bb is the greatest
t2 - aw t2 - you are priceless, thanks for your kudo's - you know how much that means to me
mal - thanks for the invite! like i told t2, don't be surprised one day if i show up on your doorstep!!!
sage - gosh, a must read eh? that's how i feel about everything you write!!!
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POSITIVES
1) gotta nice hug yesterday as hubby went off to work 2) gotta few phone calls while he was at work 3) made chocolate cake from SCRATCH (first time ever, not box) for the family - hubby was AMAZED
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whew - last night could have been "more of the same" from me, but i put tremendous db practices in place and we came out well
my daughter came to me before dinner last night and told me she was hungry, i was busy doing work on the computer and she asked for a doughnut, i told her go ahead cause i knew dinner wasn't gonna be ready for another hour or so and it was chili which she hates so i knew i was gonna have to fix something different for her anyhow
well hubby found her eating it and kinda freaked, i told him, it's ok, i told her it was ok and he started to go into the past ... "you would NEVER let the boys (remember, they are "his boys") get away with that, you were SO STRICK with them about this kind of thing, and i told you back then you needed to lighten up on them with things like that, but no, you had to do it your way."
my more of the same behavaivor would have been to start defending myself and yelling, but i just said "i am so sorry i was that way back then, i was wrong in the way that i handled it" - this took him aback. he didn't know what to say. so he says "what am i supposed to say to that? - you got me into this habit of making sure the kids didn't eat snacks before dinner and i may not have agreed to it back then, but now i do" ... "for the record, i don't think you were wrong making the boys do that, i just want you to be the same with daughter"
i said "i agree and i will work on it - could you help me?"
so what could have turned into a huge fight (like the past) turned into a tremendous db opp and i know he knew that was different for me, cause later on he came up to me and said "i am sorry for talking rough to you before, the kids were on my nerves (they were especially rambunctous last night) and i took out my frustration on you
CHA CHING - now that is the way to handle disagreements
thank you everyone, thank you michele for this board
