2 weeks left to DB

[Piano]

Didn't mention: I had to ask H to come around this morning to see if he can open a suitcase for me (long story & too boring to go into here). He was going to come yesterday but was too busy and too tired (!!!) and so he can come this morning but not early (cos he is tired !!!).

I plan to act civil, but busy msyelf and keen to get him out the door once job is done.

[gatsby11]

P, I thought you were in labor already! If you hadn't posted anything by now, I was going to post "are you having the baby???" But looks like not quite.

I'm really depressed/angry about our men. I'm saying "our" here because they're kinda similar. I would feel awful if WH was always this selfish and immature and I normalized it. That could have happened. Probably did.

I like the word "deficient." That makes some sense.

The mother equation is in your sitch too, huh?

It will be really interesting to see how these guys actually are when the baby arrives. I was imagining my girl being 4. I realized that at least my WH will probably have strong opinions about what she does-- she should read this and be active in that. He's actually quite particular. I don't know about your WAH. Can you imagine your WAH being opinionated about what she does?

I can't believe you felt the swivelling. I mean, I can. It must have felt so weird. I also hope that she gets turned back around. Come on, girl!

[Piano]

Total disaster, guys.
H came.
Blew it.
Ranted at him.
So sick of him being 'nice', when all he is doing is placating me.
I cannot stand him.
He said he wants to live in Europe with someone else.
He told me I should just focus on having the baby.
He said he felt remorse, and I said no you just feel sorry for yourself. He said I feel sorry for you.
Told him to get out of my house and that I wouldn't tell him when he baby is being born.

I am so upset with myself.

[Piano]

I should have stayed dark until the end.

But it's too late now.

I think I will tell him to come and get his stuff from my parents house by tomorrow evening.

[newmama]

Piano- who cares! You are going to have your baby and then can decide things then. Of course he expects you to get mad at him, you know?

And out of curiosity- is it your usual self to get angry and rant? Even more of a reason that he would expect it- meaning you didn't blow anything!

I am trying my best to not make my current sitch influence the feedback I give others but you have read as often as I have that the tough way is the best way to deal with As- so I actually think you should tell him to get his stuff from your parents house.

[gatsby11]

P.

Sorry that you have regrets.

You said things you felt. You didn't ruin anything as far as reconciliation.

Don't apologize right away. Let it sit. Be dark for a little while. If your labor starts, decide then what you want to do with WH.

You can tell him that about his stuff; you could have your parents tell him so you don't talk to him; you could let it wait. . .

Others may have better advice, but I wanted to comment right away. Thinking of you.

[Piano]

yes, I am a ranter and raver, so this is nothing new. thanks nm for being there. I really see the black hole of our future before us. He's going to get on that plane. He has no intention of ever facing me.

I know this is negative thinking, but i'm trying to face reality also.

[Piano]

He said something like "that's why i have no hope" ...I think he was referring to my raving and ranting.

[TimeHeals]

I think he was referring to my raving and ranting.

So stop that then. It's probably not working for you anyway.

[Piano]

I am trying TH, but I have failed !!!

I have been desperate because my H is leaving me with a baby to raise and he's going to nick off to the other side of the world to be with OW.

He hasn't changed his story in 4-5 months.

I should have used this time (the pregnancy) to work on me, but I've only grieved and strategised...

and it's all failed.

Maybe it doesn't matter how much I changed. He's under the spell of the OW.